Staying For Christmas series
Dec. 10th, 2015 01:01 pmA last fling with the typewriter before Christmas. The sequel is completely unread, so apologies for errors.
I really enjoyed writing 'Stay For Christmas' for the Discovered in The Holly and the Ivy challenge and am thrilled that people seemed to like it.
There was always a much darker story lurking behind it however, giving a glimpse of the horrors that lead Bodie through the doors of a asylum.
I primarily wrote this for myself and if you enjoyed 'Stay for Christmas', then you might want to just leave it there and not read this one.
This is NOT a fluffy Christmas story. It's not pretty or likable, but there IS hope and there IS love in there somewhere and God knows, Bodie needs plenty of those...
https://archiveofourown.org/series/366314
I really enjoyed writing 'Stay For Christmas' for the Discovered in The Holly and the Ivy challenge and am thrilled that people seemed to like it.
There was always a much darker story lurking behind it however, giving a glimpse of the horrors that lead Bodie through the doors of a asylum.
I primarily wrote this for myself and if you enjoyed 'Stay for Christmas', then you might want to just leave it there and not read this one.
This is NOT a fluffy Christmas story. It's not pretty or likable, but there IS hope and there IS love in there somewhere and God knows, Bodie needs plenty of those...
https://archiveofourown.org/series/366314
Christmas ...
Dec. 6th, 2015 05:53 pmI don't really like Christmas.
Nine times out of ten I have to work though it.
It's an inconvienience to me. I have to buy things that my friends and relatives don't really want. I like looking at snow from the warm side of a window, but I hate driving or walking in it. I dont like the fact that other people are winding down for the year whilst I am gearing up for yet another stint at work. I don't like the fact that after all our over indulgence all we have to look foward to (in the UK at least) is January.
I DO like my boys however. Whatever time of year, Bodie and Doyle are with me. They become especially important at Christmas when there are challenges and threads going on. Whilst others are making lists and gathering supplies, I just want to make sure that I am keeping up with the latest lovely stories and pictures whist trying to come up with something of my own.
Happy Pros'ey Christmas everyone xx
Nine times out of ten I have to work though it.
It's an inconvienience to me. I have to buy things that my friends and relatives don't really want. I like looking at snow from the warm side of a window, but I hate driving or walking in it. I dont like the fact that other people are winding down for the year whilst I am gearing up for yet another stint at work. I don't like the fact that after all our over indulgence all we have to look foward to (in the UK at least) is January.
I DO like my boys however. Whatever time of year, Bodie and Doyle are with me. They become especially important at Christmas when there are challenges and threads going on. Whilst others are making lists and gathering supplies, I just want to make sure that I am keeping up with the latest lovely stories and pictures whist trying to come up with something of my own.
Happy Pros'ey Christmas everyone xx
A pic for Meady
Nov. 3rd, 2015 03:46 pmI made this pic, "Sadeness" for MLM when I first learnt that her illness had returned. I first made it into a canvas as a gift for someone just yesterday and came down this morning to see it all dried out and completed. Then of course came the anticipated but dreadful news.
What us mere mortals have lost on earth is a true gift to heaven.
Go with our love Meady xxx

What us mere mortals have lost on earth is a true gift to heaven.
Go with our love Meady xxx

Its been a good year for the canvasses
Oct. 22nd, 2015 11:48 amIt's been quite a good year for my page Doyle on Canvas
https://www.facebook.com/Doyle-On-Canvas-750348358416502/?ref=bookmarks
Though most of them have been either Lew/Bodie ones or private commissions of peoples own photos. There are a couple I would love to make up though, the first one a bit being a of a turquoisey Doyle. (I've also got a pinky purply version of this which looks quite nice)

But the one I'd really like to make is this one, Deed in blue:

https://www.facebook.com/Doyle-On-Canvas-750348358416502/?ref=bookmarks
Though most of them have been either Lew/Bodie ones or private commissions of peoples own photos. There are a couple I would love to make up though, the first one a bit being a of a turquoisey Doyle. (I've also got a pinky purply version of this which looks quite nice)

But the one I'd really like to make is this one, Deed in blue:

Sharon's new coat
Oct. 21st, 2015 05:15 pmIm, so so so so excited! I have long coveted a long black woollen coat as worn by Jo Mills in Judge John Deed and seeing as I have a rather posh-de-posh 'do' to attend next month, thought one would be the idea accompanying garment. Off I go therefore to eBay to get a bit uninspired by all that tiny Chinese sizing but somehow get redirected to Debenhams. Now I don't do Debenhams. I do Lidls. But having nothing else pressing, decided to go TO TOWN having seen a reasonable enough offering at £28. I enter the weird perfumed labyrinth that is Debenhams and look for the £28 coat. Is it there? Does it exsist? No of course it doesn't. Once again the wet fish of life has slapped me about the face leaving me walking round a department store looking as out of place as a farmer at a foam party. Desutorally look around some more shops in order to get my parking ticket's worth, one of them being Primark. I am more at home here. The prices remain in double figures. However by now, agraphobia is kicking in. I have been away from my own postcode for too long. I flee to the car and almost against my better judgement decide to stop off in my beloved North End to trawl the charity shops. Northend proves to have an earthy selection of lovely long woollen coats, all in a size 12. Of which I am not. However, I finally find a beautiful, if well worn pure wool coat in my size. I put it on and it fits! However it is hotter than the Sahara and heavier than a hod of bricks. I visit every charity shop supporting every worthy cause that NE has to offer. There is one shop left before I have to cross the road back to the car in miserable defeat. I enter the shop and spy a coat. I grab it before anyone else can think of defying me. I go towards the changing room. A troll is in there guarding it jealously. Eventually, however, even trolls must need to piss and the troll reluctantly leaves. I put on the magic coat. It fits me like a glove that's made out of skin. It's SO comfortable that I negate my right to pay five pence for a carrier bag. Once out of the shop, I rip the tell tale oversized price tag off and put the coat on. I feel a bit like a down and out doing this but am beyond caring. I stride along in my new coat pretending that I actually bought it ages ago from somewhere posh. I manage to drive the car home, smoke a cigarette and let myself in all in my new coat. The dogs greet me raveounously not noticing how cool I look in my new coat. The central heating has also kicked in meaning that I either have to take my new coat off or face certain rapid death. However, none of these things can dampen my mood. I have my coat. I WILL be able to hobnob with the posh people and will tell none of them that I managed to look as cool as I do in my coat which cost me £8.99!!!!
My First Go...
Sep. 11th, 2015 11:42 pmI won't spoil the BB page by posting this there. If it wasn't for my dear friend MLM I would never had entered a BB - and it was such fun.
Me and my story fell in love and we took it took it from there. I am mainly an artist, I got assigned Dawnbeth. She is the best. She wrote a fab story. I did a vid, she liked it, I enjoyed every minute.
I did a story too. It took me a year. I got assigned an artist. She has emailed me twice. Both in reply to my emails and both of them a fair while after. There are twenty days to go and she has offered me no artwork. My artist has seemingly abandonned me. The Mods have told me off for complaining (even though they emailed ME to see what was going on).
My friend sent me some artwork tonight, I'd shown her the story and she just did it for me. I cried. I just cried and cried. It was truly lovely.
I thought this would be a nice thing to do, I love the BB stories. The art was fine but the fic has been a bad dream all on one persons say so.
I feel so low even with noone getting to read the story The BB shouldnt' be like this.
Me and my story fell in love and we took it took it from there. I am mainly an artist, I got assigned Dawnbeth. She is the best. She wrote a fab story. I did a vid, she liked it, I enjoyed every minute.
I did a story too. It took me a year. I got assigned an artist. She has emailed me twice. Both in reply to my emails and both of them a fair while after. There are twenty days to go and she has offered me no artwork. My artist has seemingly abandonned me. The Mods have told me off for complaining (even though they emailed ME to see what was going on).
My friend sent me some artwork tonight, I'd shown her the story and she just did it for me. I cried. I just cried and cried. It was truly lovely.
I thought this would be a nice thing to do, I love the BB stories. The art was fine but the fic has been a bad dream all on one persons say so.
I feel so low even with noone getting to read the story The BB shouldnt' be like this.
One that just seemed to write itself
Aug. 18th, 2015 10:01 pmIt's not often that I self promote my own fiction. I normally don't like reading it myself, but I DO like this one. It was such a pure pleasure to write and picture and making the vid to it was an added joy. Would love to think that someone else might like it too.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4256010
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4256010
A little fic for
moonlightmead
Jul. 12th, 2015 02:19 pmMead, I dont know if you remember meeting a lovely writer called Jane (Rozel on A03) at WINK 2014, but she wanted to send you her best wishes.
She told me about the time she met a certain cranky actor at a small theatre meet. She had been helping with the catering and he became rather partial to her "edible gold edged" mince pies. Talking about it recently inevitably inspired a fic!( Ficklet here )
The Christmas Angel
Once upon a time in a far flung corner of the land, lived an old, grey haired man.
The old man lived all by himself shunning the company of others who he thought beneath him (though I do think he had a dog, though that might well have just been for show.)
Perpetuated by his own misery, the old man endlessly wondered what might bring him true happiness. On the surface, he had everything that he had ever wished for. Fame, fortune and glittering prizes were no strangers to him. Adored by those around him, he shunned their devotions. The attention of minions meant nothing to him.
So he carried on though his miserable life, still secretly searching for the one true Ambrosia which would make his life worthwhile.
It was on a Christmas outing (he couldn’t always shun such things), that he glimpsed the one thing that his life had sought. He met his Christmas Angel Rozel. She looked quite an ordinary lady really considering that she was an angel. She did have pink hair, but he could accept that. (Purple would have been quite intolerable of course).
Rozel the angel seemed quite indifferent to him at first, treating him much the same as everyone else. She had however, a secret weapon in her arsenal to lure his innermost desires and she was not afraid to use it.
When he saw the delicate golden edge, his heart fluttered and his tummy grumbled. The sugar frosted delight drew him like a magnet. He briefly checked himself, wondering if any animal life had suffered for the creation of such a delight. He shook away his doubts. A stiff session of yoga the following day would ease his guilt and it WAS Christmas after all.
Finding he had no self-control left to himself, he sank his slightly uneven teeth into the delicacy. The pie did everything it said on the tin. (Well the tin actually said Cadbury’s Heroes, but that was alright, he supposed).
Completely ignoring the loving care that Rozel had put into the design of the magical treat, and quite unable to stop himself, the old man fell on another pie like a starving cat. Within seconds, the delicately crafted prize was demolished in a spray of crumbs and spluttered mincemeat.
“You like those don’t you?” said Rozel knowingly.
The old man looked up, startled, his blue (or possibly green) eyes bulging slightly. He had never expected Rozel to speak to him and was quite at a loss as to what to do next. He did however desperately want another pie and he just knew deep in his heart that the concession was to have to speak back.
“Um, yes.” he squeaked, another plume of golden crumbs pervading the air.
It was quite easy after that. Rozel was obviously quite a wise and knowing angel, and after an hour in her company, realising that no harm had come to him, he felt rather proud of himself. The easy conversation also ensured he got that last highly coveted pie of course.
The man returned to his hideaway home, determined to share a little more of himself from that day forward. He did actually go onto make a much loved documentary which he let the minions watch. That kept them all very happy for a long time.
He never forgot Rozel and her golden pies and she never quite forgot him. Always watching over him along with her other angel friends, she often smiled when she thought of the winter’s night when she reminded him that he was just a simple man.
The End.
She told me about the time she met a certain cranky actor at a small theatre meet. She had been helping with the catering and he became rather partial to her "edible gold edged" mince pies. Talking about it recently inevitably inspired a fic!( Ficklet here )
The Christmas Angel
Once upon a time in a far flung corner of the land, lived an old, grey haired man.
The old man lived all by himself shunning the company of others who he thought beneath him (though I do think he had a dog, though that might well have just been for show.)
Perpetuated by his own misery, the old man endlessly wondered what might bring him true happiness. On the surface, he had everything that he had ever wished for. Fame, fortune and glittering prizes were no strangers to him. Adored by those around him, he shunned their devotions. The attention of minions meant nothing to him.
So he carried on though his miserable life, still secretly searching for the one true Ambrosia which would make his life worthwhile.
It was on a Christmas outing (he couldn’t always shun such things), that he glimpsed the one thing that his life had sought. He met his Christmas Angel Rozel. She looked quite an ordinary lady really considering that she was an angel. She did have pink hair, but he could accept that. (Purple would have been quite intolerable of course).
Rozel the angel seemed quite indifferent to him at first, treating him much the same as everyone else. She had however, a secret weapon in her arsenal to lure his innermost desires and she was not afraid to use it.
When he saw the delicate golden edge, his heart fluttered and his tummy grumbled. The sugar frosted delight drew him like a magnet. He briefly checked himself, wondering if any animal life had suffered for the creation of such a delight. He shook away his doubts. A stiff session of yoga the following day would ease his guilt and it WAS Christmas after all.
Finding he had no self-control left to himself, he sank his slightly uneven teeth into the delicacy. The pie did everything it said on the tin. (Well the tin actually said Cadbury’s Heroes, but that was alright, he supposed).
Completely ignoring the loving care that Rozel had put into the design of the magical treat, and quite unable to stop himself, the old man fell on another pie like a starving cat. Within seconds, the delicately crafted prize was demolished in a spray of crumbs and spluttered mincemeat.
“You like those don’t you?” said Rozel knowingly.
The old man looked up, startled, his blue (or possibly green) eyes bulging slightly. He had never expected Rozel to speak to him and was quite at a loss as to what to do next. He did however desperately want another pie and he just knew deep in his heart that the concession was to have to speak back.
“Um, yes.” he squeaked, another plume of golden crumbs pervading the air.
It was quite easy after that. Rozel was obviously quite a wise and knowing angel, and after an hour in her company, realising that no harm had come to him, he felt rather proud of himself. The easy conversation also ensured he got that last highly coveted pie of course.
The man returned to his hideaway home, determined to share a little more of himself from that day forward. He did actually go onto make a much loved documentary which he let the minions watch. That kept them all very happy for a long time.
He never forgot Rozel and her golden pies and she never quite forgot him. Always watching over him along with her other angel friends, she often smiled when she thought of the winter’s night when she reminded him that he was just a simple man.
The End.
I like this, but I dont!
Jul. 6th, 2015 11:06 pmI sorta like LJ, but I sorta hate it too.
I've friends that I know only from here. I'm involved in things in here that I would not get to see
But basically, I don't get it. I have NO idea how many will see this post, as I just dont get the thing. I can't do it. I'm too stupid to do it. I posted a work today to a page but I got it wrong. I got a nice response by private message but I STILL dont get it.
I sometimes wonder if writing fic and making vids is all there if for me. I'm certainly shit at posting them. Husband hates me for doing all this stuff. Lost one friend and feel I could be losing another, so very sad and no idea who I'm telling it all to.
I've friends that I know only from here. I'm involved in things in here that I would not get to see
But basically, I don't get it. I have NO idea how many will see this post, as I just dont get the thing. I can't do it. I'm too stupid to do it. I posted a work today to a page but I got it wrong. I got a nice response by private message but I STILL dont get it.
I sometimes wonder if writing fic and making vids is all there if for me. I'm certainly shit at posting them. Husband hates me for doing all this stuff. Lost one friend and feel I could be losing another, so very sad and no idea who I'm telling it all to.
(no subject)
May. 9th, 2015 01:32 pmIf you like your Pros a little bit arty, please consider liking my new page Doyle On Canvas. All commissions considered and welcomed!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doyle-On-Canvas/750348358416502
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doyle-On-Canvas/750348358416502
Wrote a short, slashy story.
Feb. 21st, 2015 12:24 amHealing
"Ray? Ray, I'm so sorry, it's happened again."
Forced awake three hours before his due alarm clock, Ray Doyle quickly came to consciousness mentally wiping the fuzziness from his mind.
"Sorry, Ray, I didn't want to wake you," came the subdued voice from the opposite bed.
Dismayed at the cautious sadness he heard in his partner’s voice, he was by Bodie's side in an instant.
"Hey, mate, it’s fine, come on, it's nothing we can't get sorted out, is it, eh?"
He helped Bodie to hoist to himself up and swing his legs over the side of the bed. With a bit of manoeuvring, he managed to get him into the wheelchair and shucked the damp pyjama bottoms from the slightly trembling form. He towelled down the lower half of his partner’s pale body before pushing the chair over to his own twin bed.
"Far too early to get up yet, Sunshine, you can hop in with me for a few hours."
Wincing at his own ill-chosen words, he helped Bodie into the three quarter sized bed which would have been far too small for the both of them under normal circumstances. With Bodie's withered frame as it was, however, the bed was cosy if not quite spacious. Checking that Bodie was tucked in and comfortable, he turned back to the wreck of the bed that his partner had just vacated. He efficiently stripped the sodden sheets and blankets.
"I'll be back in five minutes, mate, try and drop off if you can."
Knowing that Bodie would find further sleep impossible, Doyle carried his burden of washing through to the kitchen. Stuffing the spoilt bedding into the machine he set it off on a boil wash. Planting himself on a bar stool, he reached for his packet of Silk Cut. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Looking out at the dimly encroaching dawn, his face was blank. He wouldn't be getting any more sleep either, but giving the appearance of normality was as important as anything else. Sighing, he stubbed out his smoke and returned to the bedroom.
Bodie was currently laying on his side. Knowing that this situation wouldn't last much longer, Doyle took advantage, slipped in behind him and snaked an arm around his skinny waist, revelling in the cosy intimacy. Sure enough, as Doyle knew he would, within ten minutes, Bodie indicated his need to turn over.
"Sorry, Ray." he whispered, his voice distraught.
"Don't be daft, Bodie, it’s fine. Come on let’s get you turned."
They struggled until Bodie was lying flat. The first of many movements in an attempt to bring him comfort which would rob them of any rest for the remainder of their night. Bodie couldn't quite hide the sharp intake of breath that the manoeuvre caused. Doyle cursed an injury that could rob a man of all feeling below his waist yet still cause so much intense pain. It was, however, too early for him to administer painkillers and too late for sleeping pills. Resigned to their fate of tossing, turning and murmuring gentle reassurances, Doyle closed his eyes, only imagining the pleasure that sleep would bring.
****************************************
They had danced around each other for months.
If either had noticed that the little touches had become just that tiny bit more intimate, the looks that bit more lingering, then neither of them had mentioned it. Somewhere along the line, the fluttering of pretty bird’s wings had quieted, both Bodie and Doyle dating less women in favour of enjoying each other’s company instead. The inevitability of their professional partnership turning into something entirely more personal was something they had both still tentatively held at arm’s length. The thrill of the chase and the excitement of the secret knowledge still thrumming through their veins, they both held off from taking the final plunge. Neither quite ready to admit to himself that he was falling in love, they flirted and teased, gently stringing out the courtship towards it’s exquisite conclusion.
The O'Neill op changed all that.
Bodie had been working the case undercover for a month. It was a small cell, remarkable easy to infiltrate, Bodie quickly establishing that the group was made up of wannabe's and has been's. With their lack of experience and finesse, they were if anything, pathetically grateful for Bodie's input. Bodie had been brought in as a driver when their previous man, Declan, had unfortunately been involved in a dubious hit and run rendering him out of action for the foreseeable. A few words in the right ears had secured Bodie's place and before long he was sharing his knowledge of tactics and weaponry with his impressed new audience.
For all their ineptitude, the group of loyalists were still dangerous. They had enough guns to manage to put holes in people and were gradually managing to amass themselves a small cache of explosives. Enough in fact to put a few holes in buildings. Though their plan to blow up a provincial bank vault in order to boost their funds was basically flawed, it was still a threat which Bodie took seriously. The bank job was big enough to put the older group members away for the rest of their useful working lives. The younger ones would probably be out within ten years having learned lessons which they would never forget.
Cowley had assigned Doyle as leader of the task force which would bring the cell down at the eleventh hour. Bodie had covertly provided CI5 with all the necessary data needed to cover the bank raid, along with details of associates who currently thought themselves too aloof to yet do business with O'Neill and his so far unproven gang. Bodie had also wired the switches and timers for the IEDs himself knowing they could cause only limited damage when called upon to do their job.
It was at the tenth hour that one of the associates coming along for the ride, recognised Bodie as being a former British foot soldier on the streets of Belfast some ten years before. The recognition was almost the downfall of CI5's operation, Shaun O'Neill realising just a fraction too late how Bodie had betrayed him. The anticipated round up turned in a shootout which denied three of the group their chance to engage in Her Majesty's pleasures. The miss had been a near one and after the clean-up crew had cleaned up and gone away, Bodie and Doyle found themselves on their own. With his joy at having his partner back unharmed wrapping itself around him, Doyle was no longer willing to hide his love light under a bushel. He grabbed Bodie and kissed him with all the pent up frustration, fear and love that had built up over the last lonely month. An ecstatic Bodie returned the kiss enthusiastically, his tongue duelling with Doyle's in the age old ritual of dawning pleasure.
Had they not been so completely concentrated on each other, so unaware of anyone or anything else around them, they might have considered the possibility of Sammy O'Neill's presence.
Sammy was not a bright boy. Nobody ever gave him credit for anything and he had come to not expect any. This simple fact did not however detract him from his total devotion to anything that his revered uncle did or said. Knowing that he was not allowed to participate in Shaun O'Neill's activities and being constantly told that 'his time would come' was not on this occasion enough to stop him coming. Sneaking into the back of the van with a Walther P38 stolen from his uncle’s arsenal, had perhaps not been his smartest idea. Surrounded by the primed bombs, he had felt more than a little vulnerable. Having survived the journey however, he suddenly felt invincible, the excitement of the planned raid coursing through him. Seeing his beloved uncle shot to death from his hiding place, shattered Sammy. Even with his limited attention span, he managed to ascertain that the driver, Bodie had been the betrayer. Still shaking with pain and rage, he was stunned when he spied the same man in the shadows kissing another man. Aiming and firing a gun for the first time in his young life, Sammy's intended head shot was slightly off, but he still managed to plant a hit into the side of Bodie's thigh. With lightning speed, Doyle drew his gun and had put a bullet between Sammy's startled eyes before he even had the chance to think about it.
******************************************
It was not the gunshot wound that had brought about Bodie's devastating condition but the fall that had resulted from it. Blown away by the force of the unanticipated bullet, Bodie had smacked onto a concrete floor. The resulting injuries to his back had required surgery. The shattered fragments from a fractured vertebra had been painstaking removed from their precarious landing places. There was no reason for the doctors to assume that the operation had been anything but a complete success. They were therefore dismayed when after three weeks, Bodie still had no feeling or function in his lower body. After waving away their patient with assurances that 'time healed' and that 'anything was possible' they more or less washed their hands of him.
Cowley had considered the wisdom of returning Doyle to active status without his partner. Knowing that four five’s concentration would remain with Bodie and only Bodie wherever he placed the man, he pulled strings. Ensuring that both men would still receive their pay, he somehow found for them an adapted bungalow in a quiet, safe area. The bungalow though depressingly soulless, was functional and practical. Within it’s walls, Bodie and Doyle slowly learned how to manage their new situation.
Bodie was nothing if not a stoic man. The threat of death or disablement had always dogged his career. He had probably amassed enough savings to keep himself in food and private nursing if he was willing to forgo the finer thing things in life. The issue which plagued his mind however was the constant presence of his partner. Though he told Doyle to go a thousand times a day in his head, his mouth could never form the words. He had lusted over Doyle's body and loved his mind for so many years that the pain of seeing Ray walk from his life was far sharper than anything his abused spine could throw at him. He woke crying in the night at their lost opportunities. Dreaming of a life of intimacy with Doyle was quite different to the new reality. They were closer now than they had ever been but instead of taking themselves to the giddy heights of sexual pleasure, their daily routine involved poor Ray helping Bodie to the toilet and administering his pills. Their closeness was complete but in the furthest way that Bodie could have imagined. There was no bodily function that Bodie had performed without Doyle's detached observation. Bodie had even to both their surprise, acquired erections which he had neither felt nor enjoyed. And through it all, though his care and kindness knew no bounds, it was obvious to Bodie that Ray didn't fancy him anymore.
Guilt had never been a stranger in Doyle's life. The fact that his rash actions had caused his best friend and would be lover to be hurt so badly, plagued his every thought. He knew that Bodie hated the care that he was so willing to bestow and he felt guilty about that too. He'd felt so near and so ready to receive the love that Bodie had wanted to give him that he added sexual frustration to his list of problems. When Bodie was otherwise engaged at his out patient’s appointments or busy with the physiotherapist, Doyle would masturbate with memories of Bodie's beautiful working body in his mind. This simple pleasure would cause the guilt to eat at his conscious for days afterwards. Desperate to touch his partner in more than a functional way caused Doyle to hate himself all the more. He adopted a strictly hands off approach as often as he was able, though it was far from easy for him to do.
**************************************
The alarm shrilled, heralding the start of the new day. Doyle slapped at it viciously suddenly realising that amazingly, they had both actually slept. As he raised the covers intending to go to the bathroom, his eyes caught the sight of his dozing partner. Bodie was a mass of wasted muscle and smelled ever so faintly of piss, but was still as beautiful to Doyle as he had ever been.
For once, unable to stop himself, Doyle stroked the pale face and gently kissed Bodie's forehead. Quite unwilling to stop now that he had started, he trailed feather light kisses down Bodie's torso. Stopping when he got to his partners flaccid penis, he stared at it longingly. Quite what made him do it, he never knew but before he could stop himself, he was kissing and sucking the organ like a man possessed. The sudden twitch of response shocked Doyle back to his senses. Startled by what he had done, Doyle looked up to see Bodie's mesmerized eyes looking down at him.
"Please, don't stop, Sunshine. I.... I can feel you. I can actually bloody feel you!"
Laughing and crying at the same time, Doyle was only too happy to oblige. It was all over in a matter of seconds and left Doyle with another armload of laundry. It was the first step however in Bodie's healing, the first day of the rest of their lives.
Though the recovery would be long, arduous and at times frustrating, Bodie now knew that he had something to live for. Someone to get better for. He hadn't lost Doyle's love at all, it had just been hidden amongst the grief and pain and guilt.
Though their lives may change in unexpected ways, Bodie and Doyle got what they had always wanted, always needed, each other. Life would be for a while at least, a struggle, but through better or worse, in sickness and health they would face it. Bound by a love they had so very nearly lost, they headed into their future. Together, as they had always had been.
********************
"Ray? Ray, I'm so sorry, it's happened again."
Forced awake three hours before his due alarm clock, Ray Doyle quickly came to consciousness mentally wiping the fuzziness from his mind.
"Sorry, Ray, I didn't want to wake you," came the subdued voice from the opposite bed.
Dismayed at the cautious sadness he heard in his partner’s voice, he was by Bodie's side in an instant.
"Hey, mate, it’s fine, come on, it's nothing we can't get sorted out, is it, eh?"
He helped Bodie to hoist to himself up and swing his legs over the side of the bed. With a bit of manoeuvring, he managed to get him into the wheelchair and shucked the damp pyjama bottoms from the slightly trembling form. He towelled down the lower half of his partner’s pale body before pushing the chair over to his own twin bed.
"Far too early to get up yet, Sunshine, you can hop in with me for a few hours."
Wincing at his own ill-chosen words, he helped Bodie into the three quarter sized bed which would have been far too small for the both of them under normal circumstances. With Bodie's withered frame as it was, however, the bed was cosy if not quite spacious. Checking that Bodie was tucked in and comfortable, he turned back to the wreck of the bed that his partner had just vacated. He efficiently stripped the sodden sheets and blankets.
"I'll be back in five minutes, mate, try and drop off if you can."
Knowing that Bodie would find further sleep impossible, Doyle carried his burden of washing through to the kitchen. Stuffing the spoilt bedding into the machine he set it off on a boil wash. Planting himself on a bar stool, he reached for his packet of Silk Cut. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Looking out at the dimly encroaching dawn, his face was blank. He wouldn't be getting any more sleep either, but giving the appearance of normality was as important as anything else. Sighing, he stubbed out his smoke and returned to the bedroom.
Bodie was currently laying on his side. Knowing that this situation wouldn't last much longer, Doyle took advantage, slipped in behind him and snaked an arm around his skinny waist, revelling in the cosy intimacy. Sure enough, as Doyle knew he would, within ten minutes, Bodie indicated his need to turn over.
"Sorry, Ray." he whispered, his voice distraught.
"Don't be daft, Bodie, it’s fine. Come on let’s get you turned."
They struggled until Bodie was lying flat. The first of many movements in an attempt to bring him comfort which would rob them of any rest for the remainder of their night. Bodie couldn't quite hide the sharp intake of breath that the manoeuvre caused. Doyle cursed an injury that could rob a man of all feeling below his waist yet still cause so much intense pain. It was, however, too early for him to administer painkillers and too late for sleeping pills. Resigned to their fate of tossing, turning and murmuring gentle reassurances, Doyle closed his eyes, only imagining the pleasure that sleep would bring.
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They had danced around each other for months.
If either had noticed that the little touches had become just that tiny bit more intimate, the looks that bit more lingering, then neither of them had mentioned it. Somewhere along the line, the fluttering of pretty bird’s wings had quieted, both Bodie and Doyle dating less women in favour of enjoying each other’s company instead. The inevitability of their professional partnership turning into something entirely more personal was something they had both still tentatively held at arm’s length. The thrill of the chase and the excitement of the secret knowledge still thrumming through their veins, they both held off from taking the final plunge. Neither quite ready to admit to himself that he was falling in love, they flirted and teased, gently stringing out the courtship towards it’s exquisite conclusion.
The O'Neill op changed all that.
Bodie had been working the case undercover for a month. It was a small cell, remarkable easy to infiltrate, Bodie quickly establishing that the group was made up of wannabe's and has been's. With their lack of experience and finesse, they were if anything, pathetically grateful for Bodie's input. Bodie had been brought in as a driver when their previous man, Declan, had unfortunately been involved in a dubious hit and run rendering him out of action for the foreseeable. A few words in the right ears had secured Bodie's place and before long he was sharing his knowledge of tactics and weaponry with his impressed new audience.
For all their ineptitude, the group of loyalists were still dangerous. They had enough guns to manage to put holes in people and were gradually managing to amass themselves a small cache of explosives. Enough in fact to put a few holes in buildings. Though their plan to blow up a provincial bank vault in order to boost their funds was basically flawed, it was still a threat which Bodie took seriously. The bank job was big enough to put the older group members away for the rest of their useful working lives. The younger ones would probably be out within ten years having learned lessons which they would never forget.
Cowley had assigned Doyle as leader of the task force which would bring the cell down at the eleventh hour. Bodie had covertly provided CI5 with all the necessary data needed to cover the bank raid, along with details of associates who currently thought themselves too aloof to yet do business with O'Neill and his so far unproven gang. Bodie had also wired the switches and timers for the IEDs himself knowing they could cause only limited damage when called upon to do their job.
It was at the tenth hour that one of the associates coming along for the ride, recognised Bodie as being a former British foot soldier on the streets of Belfast some ten years before. The recognition was almost the downfall of CI5's operation, Shaun O'Neill realising just a fraction too late how Bodie had betrayed him. The anticipated round up turned in a shootout which denied three of the group their chance to engage in Her Majesty's pleasures. The miss had been a near one and after the clean-up crew had cleaned up and gone away, Bodie and Doyle found themselves on their own. With his joy at having his partner back unharmed wrapping itself around him, Doyle was no longer willing to hide his love light under a bushel. He grabbed Bodie and kissed him with all the pent up frustration, fear and love that had built up over the last lonely month. An ecstatic Bodie returned the kiss enthusiastically, his tongue duelling with Doyle's in the age old ritual of dawning pleasure.
Had they not been so completely concentrated on each other, so unaware of anyone or anything else around them, they might have considered the possibility of Sammy O'Neill's presence.
Sammy was not a bright boy. Nobody ever gave him credit for anything and he had come to not expect any. This simple fact did not however detract him from his total devotion to anything that his revered uncle did or said. Knowing that he was not allowed to participate in Shaun O'Neill's activities and being constantly told that 'his time would come' was not on this occasion enough to stop him coming. Sneaking into the back of the van with a Walther P38 stolen from his uncle’s arsenal, had perhaps not been his smartest idea. Surrounded by the primed bombs, he had felt more than a little vulnerable. Having survived the journey however, he suddenly felt invincible, the excitement of the planned raid coursing through him. Seeing his beloved uncle shot to death from his hiding place, shattered Sammy. Even with his limited attention span, he managed to ascertain that the driver, Bodie had been the betrayer. Still shaking with pain and rage, he was stunned when he spied the same man in the shadows kissing another man. Aiming and firing a gun for the first time in his young life, Sammy's intended head shot was slightly off, but he still managed to plant a hit into the side of Bodie's thigh. With lightning speed, Doyle drew his gun and had put a bullet between Sammy's startled eyes before he even had the chance to think about it.
******************************************
It was not the gunshot wound that had brought about Bodie's devastating condition but the fall that had resulted from it. Blown away by the force of the unanticipated bullet, Bodie had smacked onto a concrete floor. The resulting injuries to his back had required surgery. The shattered fragments from a fractured vertebra had been painstaking removed from their precarious landing places. There was no reason for the doctors to assume that the operation had been anything but a complete success. They were therefore dismayed when after three weeks, Bodie still had no feeling or function in his lower body. After waving away their patient with assurances that 'time healed' and that 'anything was possible' they more or less washed their hands of him.
Cowley had considered the wisdom of returning Doyle to active status without his partner. Knowing that four five’s concentration would remain with Bodie and only Bodie wherever he placed the man, he pulled strings. Ensuring that both men would still receive their pay, he somehow found for them an adapted bungalow in a quiet, safe area. The bungalow though depressingly soulless, was functional and practical. Within it’s walls, Bodie and Doyle slowly learned how to manage their new situation.
Bodie was nothing if not a stoic man. The threat of death or disablement had always dogged his career. He had probably amassed enough savings to keep himself in food and private nursing if he was willing to forgo the finer thing things in life. The issue which plagued his mind however was the constant presence of his partner. Though he told Doyle to go a thousand times a day in his head, his mouth could never form the words. He had lusted over Doyle's body and loved his mind for so many years that the pain of seeing Ray walk from his life was far sharper than anything his abused spine could throw at him. He woke crying in the night at their lost opportunities. Dreaming of a life of intimacy with Doyle was quite different to the new reality. They were closer now than they had ever been but instead of taking themselves to the giddy heights of sexual pleasure, their daily routine involved poor Ray helping Bodie to the toilet and administering his pills. Their closeness was complete but in the furthest way that Bodie could have imagined. There was no bodily function that Bodie had performed without Doyle's detached observation. Bodie had even to both their surprise, acquired erections which he had neither felt nor enjoyed. And through it all, though his care and kindness knew no bounds, it was obvious to Bodie that Ray didn't fancy him anymore.
Guilt had never been a stranger in Doyle's life. The fact that his rash actions had caused his best friend and would be lover to be hurt so badly, plagued his every thought. He knew that Bodie hated the care that he was so willing to bestow and he felt guilty about that too. He'd felt so near and so ready to receive the love that Bodie had wanted to give him that he added sexual frustration to his list of problems. When Bodie was otherwise engaged at his out patient’s appointments or busy with the physiotherapist, Doyle would masturbate with memories of Bodie's beautiful working body in his mind. This simple pleasure would cause the guilt to eat at his conscious for days afterwards. Desperate to touch his partner in more than a functional way caused Doyle to hate himself all the more. He adopted a strictly hands off approach as often as he was able, though it was far from easy for him to do.
**************************************
The alarm shrilled, heralding the start of the new day. Doyle slapped at it viciously suddenly realising that amazingly, they had both actually slept. As he raised the covers intending to go to the bathroom, his eyes caught the sight of his dozing partner. Bodie was a mass of wasted muscle and smelled ever so faintly of piss, but was still as beautiful to Doyle as he had ever been.
For once, unable to stop himself, Doyle stroked the pale face and gently kissed Bodie's forehead. Quite unwilling to stop now that he had started, he trailed feather light kisses down Bodie's torso. Stopping when he got to his partners flaccid penis, he stared at it longingly. Quite what made him do it, he never knew but before he could stop himself, he was kissing and sucking the organ like a man possessed. The sudden twitch of response shocked Doyle back to his senses. Startled by what he had done, Doyle looked up to see Bodie's mesmerized eyes looking down at him.
"Please, don't stop, Sunshine. I.... I can feel you. I can actually bloody feel you!"
Laughing and crying at the same time, Doyle was only too happy to oblige. It was all over in a matter of seconds and left Doyle with another armload of laundry. It was the first step however in Bodie's healing, the first day of the rest of their lives.
Though the recovery would be long, arduous and at times frustrating, Bodie now knew that he had something to live for. Someone to get better for. He hadn't lost Doyle's love at all, it had just been hidden amongst the grief and pain and guilt.
Though their lives may change in unexpected ways, Bodie and Doyle got what they had always wanted, always needed, each other. Life would be for a while at least, a struggle, but through better or worse, in sickness and health they would face it. Bound by a love they had so very nearly lost, they headed into their future. Together, as they had always had been.
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Oops signed me up for a BB
Feb. 8th, 2015 12:05 amAm I mad? Am I stupid? Am I kidding myself? Well I dunno but somehow I have found myself signed up to do the Box of Tricks 2015 Big Bang AS A WRITER! Don't get me wrong, last years first go as an artist was a sublime experience for me. Everything stopped once BB started, I lived and breathed that challenge. But to write? What the heck?! Fortunately, I was a good part through a story when my amazing reader suggested that I could BB it. It should be finished within the next few weeks and then I can shelve it and forget it. I just hope that by October, I havn't come to hate it! Wish me luck everyone, I'm going in!