Sharon's new coat

[boothros]

Im, so so so so excited! I have long coveted a long black woollen coat as worn by Jo Mills in Judge John Deed and seeing as I have a rather posh-de-posh 'do' to attend next month, thought one would be the idea accompanying garment. Off I go therefore to eBay to get a bit uninspired by all that tiny Chinese sizing but somehow get redirected to Debenhams. Now I don't do Debenhams. I do Lidls. But having nothing else pressing, decided to go TO TOWN having seen a reasonable enough offering at £28. I enter the weird perfumed labyrinth that is Debenhams and look for the £28 coat. Is it there? Does it exsist? No of course it doesn't. Once again the wet fish of life has slapped me about the face leaving me walking round a department store looking as out of place as a farmer at a foam party. Desutorally look around some more shops in order to get my parking ticket's worth, one of them being Primark. I am more at home here. The prices remain in double figures. However by now, agraphobia is kicking in. I have been away from my own postcode for too long. I flee to the car and almost against my better judgement decide to stop off in my beloved North End to trawl the charity shops. Northend proves to have an earthy selection of lovely long woollen coats, all in a size 12. Of which I am not. However, I finally find a beautiful, if well worn pure wool coat in my size. I put it on and it fits! However it is hotter than the Sahara and heavier than a hod of bricks. I visit every charity shop supporting every worthy cause that NE has to offer. There is one shop left before I have to cross the road back to the car in miserable defeat. I enter the shop and spy a coat. I grab it before anyone else can think of defying me. I go towards the changing room. A troll is in there guarding it jealously. Eventually, however, even trolls must need to piss and the troll reluctantly leaves. I put on the magic coat. It fits me like a glove that's made out of skin. It's SO comfortable that I negate my right to pay five pence for a carrier bag. Once out of the shop, I rip the tell tale oversized price tag off and put the coat on. I feel a bit like a down and out doing this but am beyond caring. I stride along in my new coat pretending that I actually bought it ages ago from somewhere posh. I manage to drive the car home, smoke a cigarette and let myself in all in my new coat. The dogs greet me raveounously not noticing how cool I look in my new coat. The central heating has also kicked in meaning that I either have to take my new coat off or face certain rapid death. However, none of these things can dampen my mood. I have my coat. I WILL be able to hobnob with the posh people and will tell none of them that I managed to look as cool as I do in my coat which cost me £8.99!!!!

Comments

[sw33n3y.livejournal.com]

What a fabulous buy! Some things are just meant to be. :D