Flat Lining

Today I upset someone.

I didn’t mean to, want to or intend to.
I offered them explanations which they didn’t care for.
They were rude to me I felt (at the time) which distressed me greatly.
They’re probably right. I deserve rudeness. I’m a horrible person who cares for nobody but them-self.

I hate upsetting people. I’ve nothing left in me apart from trying to make others happy. I don’t do that too often, at least not often enough.

My whippets keep me alive. They didn’t ask to be owned by me. They need food and water and walks. If they weren’t here, I wouldn’t be either.

I try to offer support to others whilst being completely unstable myself. If that girl had ANY idea how far she’s put my mental health back today just trolling for glory then either she’d grow up or apologise. I admired her. I guess in the end it was only her software I really liked.

Why the hell when you HAVE friends do you choose to alienate them? I would have answered any PM she sent me. She didn't send one. I feel like shit. I feel like a complete cunt, like the biggest arsehole in the world.

She must feel worse because she is the darling of LJ whereas I'm not I'm just some would-be who once liked looking at her posts.

I'm clinging on but I'm still gonna cling. She'll never feel the pain she dished out. I have to learn how to put the plaster on.